A Primer on Patriarchy, Power, and Pills
It started with the red pill.
The Matrix came out in 1999. This sci-fi action film tells the story of a computer hacker, Neo, who discovers that the world he lives in is a simulated reality created to enslave humanity. Guided by rebels, he learns to harness his powers and fight against the machines controlling the system. I could say a lot about enslaved humanity, but that’s for another blog.
For these purposes, I’m writing about the pill — where, in the film, taking the red pill meant “waking up” to reality instead of living in comfortable illusion.
Fast forward to the early 2000s, where men’s rights activists and online forums revived and co-opted the metaphor. For them, being “red pilled” meant waking up to the supposed “truth” that feminism had gone too far, that men were the “real” victims, and that masculinity had to be “restored.”
Since then, the metaphor has metastasized. Entire communities — the so-called manosphere — use pill colors to sort and spread ideologies about gender. These ideas circulate on Reddit, 4chan, TikTok, YouTube, Discord, and countless blogs. Influencers like Andrew Tate, Jordan Peterson, and other manosphere personalities amplify them to massive audiences. They profit from men’s insecurity and anger, fueling a market of misogyny disguised as “self-improvement” or “truth-telling.”
This is an evolving language, but here’s a breakdown:
The Red Pill is a frightening anti-feminist attack. Red-pilled men claim to see “female nature” clearly: that women are manipulative, hypergamous (seeking higher-status men), and dangerous to men. It legitimizes controlling behavior, double standards, and toxic masculinity. Men who are “red-pilled” believe they have “woken up” to supposed truths about women and gender dynamics, meaning patriarchal or misogynistic.
The Blue Pill refers to men who accept mainstream, socially encouraged views on relationships, gender roles, and masculinity — such as striving to be kind, respectful, or egalitarian with women. In The Matrix, taking the blue pill means staying in the simulated reality rather than “waking up.” Within the manosphere, being “blue-pilled” is often used as an insult, suggesting a man is naïve, weak, or blindly compliant with what they see as a “feminist” or “politically correct” version of reality. The blue pill is also shorthand for being a “beta male” — someone who submits to women, ignores “real male instincts,” and lives under illusions.
The Black Pill signifies nihilism, hopelessness, despair. Black-pilled men (often “incels”) believe the system is rigged — especially dating. Popular in incel communities, black pillers see themselves as doomed by genetics, looks, or status, with no chance at relationships. Black pill culture breeds fatalism, misogyny, and sometimes radicalization into violence. Ultimately this view is fatalistic, believing that no amount of effort — self-improvement, kindness, or whatever — will change their outcomes.
The White Pill sits on the opposite end of the spectrum, signifying optimism and hope. It serves as a counter to black pill despair and a belief that men can improve themselves and society. This perspective might overlap with self-help, wellness, or even religious communities that stress resilience and positive masculinity.
The Purple Pill is a supposed middle ground. Not fully rejecting feminism, not fully embracing it. It frames itself as “realistic” but often just reinforces the patriarchal status quo. Let’s say this is the kind of guy who tells his son it’s ok to cry but also tells him to “man up” when competing in sports. So these guys might accept some gender critiques from red-pill spaces but reject the extremism. Ultimately they’re seen as fence-sitters by both sides.
The Pink Pill is where it gets more complex. It seems to have developed in feminist and queer spaces as a response to the red pill, used by women and non-binary communities to describe their own awakening about gender inequality. Sometimes it is adopted sarcastically to push back against red-pill misogyny. And sometimes it’s a call for solidarity and female empowerment.
But there’s a long backstory here too. In (very) brief, the first use of the term was in the 19th century with Dr. Williams’ Pink Pills for Pale People, a quack cure for a range of conditions — anemia, depression, and on and on. Fast forward to the 2010s when Flibanserin — aka “the little pink pill” — was approved to treat low sexual desire in women.
Today there are anti-feminist uses of the pink pill as well. In some spaces, it has been adopted by “femcels” who mirror black pill despair from a woman’s perspective. In others, the pink pill is used by “trad wife” communities glorifying hyper-traditional femininity and submission. It refers to women (and sometimes men) who have “awakened” to the idea that feminism has failed women — that despite promises of liberation, women are still unhappy, unfulfilled, and often disadvantaged in relationships.
And the pink pill as a dating strategy represents a cynical, resource-driven outlook on dating and relationships that emphasizes maximizing benefits from men. This includes being a “High Value Woman” with many dating options who is in search of a “High Value Man.” I’m not sure there’s agreement on any of this stuff, but the point is that we’ve got very different, very contradictory, uses of the same term.
Beyond being confusing, so what? Well, the pills have become a shorthand for worldviews about gender, power, and masculinity. These ideologies aren’t random. They’re sustained by a powerful feedback loop of influencers, algorithms, and online communities. Figures like Andrew Tate, with millions of followers, sell a lifestyle of domination, control, and anti-feminism. Jordan Peterson’s lectures package traditional gender roles in intellectual language. Lesser-known influencers pump out daily red pill content on TikTok and YouTube, where algorithms reward outrage, pushing this content to young, impressionable audiences.
The supporters and funders are a mix of opportunistic influencers monetizing clicks, ad revenue, and courses — and larger networks of anti-feminist, authoritarian, and far-right movements that see gender equality as a threat to their power.
For men, these pills reinforce toxic masculinity, telling them to suppress vulnerability, reject equality, and measure self-worth through dominance. Black pill fatalism leaves men stuck in cycles of despair, resentment, and sometimes violence.
For women, the consequences are all too clear: harassment, online abuse, normalization of misogyny, and the erosion of rights. Red pill ideology paints women as enemies, objects, or obstacles — not equals. Pink pill traditionalism confines women to restrictive roles, glorifying submission as liberation.
For young people, the danger is especially acute. Boys and young men — already navigating identity in a digital-first world — are being recruited into toxic ideologies that promise certainty and belonging. Girls and young women face communities that shame, police, and punish them for seeking autonomy. The long-term cost is a generation split by mistrust, hostility, and shrinking space for genuine equality.
These pills are not harmless memes. They are pipelines. They radicalize, normalize misogyny, and undermine feminist progress. The pills are traps, and we’re too smart to fall for them. We can tune out, ignore, block influencers and platforms that profit from misogyny. And if we’ve got young people in our lives — talk to them about rejecting toxic scripts. Check out Bold Voices toolkits on how to build conversations and educate people of all ages about toxic masculinity. And, if you’re in the mood for more action, sign this petition by Global Action Plan to compel social media companies to design safer platforms.
Here’s the bottom line: Feminism offers an alternative — by rejecting the fatalism of the black pill, the hostility of the red pill, and the confinement of the pink pill. Instead, it insists that dignity, equality, and freedom are not illusions but rights worth fighting for.
Because the future we want won’t come from red, black, pink, or purple pills. It will come from smashing the patriarchy — and building something better in its place.
***
Need more counters to pills and patriarchy? Do this:
- www.Better4Women.com
- Click on Join the Movement
- Receive your Feminist Firestarter
- START FIRES
