The Activist’s Guide to Having a Festive — or at least bearable — Feministmas

Lina AbiRafeh
7 min readDec 16, 2024

--

Image credit goes to Helena Araújo and was originally written by her friend Christina. The image is labelled as Creative Commons. The views expressed within this article are the author’s own. Thanks for this creative rendition, ladies!

Here we go! It’s the end-of-year warp-speed race from Halloween to shorter and darker days to Thanksgiving to chilly weather to Christmas (and Kwanzaa and Hanukkah and Yule and so on) culminating in the what-the-F-am-I-doing-with-my-life existential crisis that is New Year’s Eve.

The global message is clear.

Halloween: buy costume, eat candy.
Thanksgiving: buy turkey, eat everything.
Christmas: just buy lots of stuff.

It’s kinda hard to sustain activism when bombarded with consumerism. But wait… we can do both!

For starters, we can spend in the right places. Being a conscious consumer takes some work, but there are sites that make it easy. For instance, this ethical shopper guide revolutionizes our shopping — and fuels the revolution! For those who are committed to the Boycott, Divestment, Sanctions (BDS) movement, there are guides for this too! Here’s one list of the brands and companies to avoid if we want to stop supporting Israel’s occupation and genocide in Palestine. And another great list of Arab-inspired gifts!

FYI — BDS is a Palestinian-led movement for freedom, justice and equality, upholding the principle that Palestinians are entitled to the same rights as the rest of humanity. That’s a gift I hope we all agree on!

If you’re looking for feminist gifts, I’ve got a few thoughts. Firstly, let’s avoid the cliches — cosmetics, candles, journals. While I am grateful for many things, I wonder why no one gets gratitude journals for men?! Anyway, from a feminist perspective, our rights are being stripped away all around the world. I’m not grateful for that!

So, look no further because I’ve put together a small list of feminist-approved gifts for your favorite women’s rights activist this holiday season. Let’s start with noise-cancelling headphones to drown out the sounds of the patriarchy, those pesky catcallers, and finally find a moment of peace. You could also gift a year’s supply of birth control — because we need to stock up before we lose all rights to our bodies. There are loads of awesome books by trailblazing feminists, and lots of cool feminist networks to join — those are gifts with substance. And there are always female-focused (and, ideally, female-created) sex toys — because we deserve pleasure. Finally, martial arts and self-defense lessons are a great way to take charge and reclaim our rights to public space. I wish we didn’t have to do this, but our safety is something we do not have. It’s the gift I’d really love to give us all…

Another great gift that costs nothing and should extend beyond the holiday season is the recognition that women bear the brunt of unpaid care — and this increases dramatically during the holidays. So, share the care. Do the work. Pull your weight. Live your values. Step up — and stay there all year round. Equality starts at home.

It is possible for us to be more mindful, to choose meaningful, sustainable, ethical products and practices. Anyway, do we really, really need it?! I know this sucks the fun out of the season, but it’s worth a thought. While we welcome additional stuff into our homes, maybe we can offset some of this by giving away the gently-used items we no longer need. Someone will appreciate them.

It is possible to also opt out of this whole holiday operation. Instead of gifts, write a letter to your loved ones. Share your news — and your views! There’s something warm and personal about a written letter — it’s a dying art. And that’s a gift I’d keep forever!

An activist holiday can be a powerful way to recharge and refocus our energies for social change. There are many other ways to have a festive Feministmas. Here come some more ideas:

Foster community by spending time with loved ones — especially those who support our activism and share our values. Conversely, it’s ok to choose not to spend time with those who antagonize or oppose us. We gotta pick our people! Join local events and volunteer events — things like soup kitchens, helplines, community clean-ups, and so on. Join a book club or discussion group on social justice — or start a mini social justice library.

In many parts of the world — like here in New York where I live — winter means supercold. And there are still people living on the streets, often with nowhere to go. I try to give what I can to those who are houseless in my area. One way to do this is to prepare small kits of winter essentials — hat, scarf, gloves, tissues, cough drops, socks, snacks, a blanket, whatever works and is of use to a houseless person.

Personally, I’m spending this season catching up on reading. I plan to be curled up with a book (or several) for at least a week. First on the list is A Woman is a School by Slow Factory founder, Céline Semaan, a war-survivor and refugee. Her book is filled with Indigenous knowledge and wisdom, a critical piece in building a culture of resistance. And then it’s Shut the F Up and Listen, by storyteller, speaker, and coach Matt Halloran. Although we live in a world where everyone wants to be heard, Matt’s book is a reminder that the most powerful act is to (shut the F up and…) listen.

I’m also planning to cozy up with documentaries and social justice films I need to watch like It’s All Over: The Kiss That Changed Spanish Football. This tells the story of the 2023 Women’s World Cup when Luis Rubiales forcibly kissed Spanish team player Jenni Hermoso. Also on my list is She Said, about the journalists who uncovered the Harvey Epstein case, and Israelism, the story of two American Jews who unlearn their unconditional love of Israel as a result of its treatment of Palestinians.

For those who want a little more action, there are always online courses to take. Check out the UN Women Training Center as a good place to start. And here are a few academic women’s rights courses you can audit for free. To take things one step further, you can scale up your social media activism. Being a Couch Crusader means you get to stay warm and spread awareness this holiday season! For even greater involvement, donate to causes you care about — or donate on behalf of others as a gift. At the end of most of my blogs, I list ways to get involved and organizations to support — for Palestine and Lebanon, Iran, Afghanistan, for instance, and for issues we care about like reproductive rights. You can also encourage your people to sign up for my Feminist Firestarter newsletter! Just click on Join the Movement and you’re in!

At the same time, the holiday season and the end of the year is a good time to start planning for our feminist future. I use this cool tool to help me think of what worked well and what needs a little more oumph. It also helps give me a little perspective — especially in a year that feels like it was filled with such colossal setbacks for humanity. With that in mind, while trying to save the world, I also set some more attainable goals — like organizing the bazillion photos on my iPhone. (Ok, forget that one. Maybe world peace is easier?!)

I try to think in terms of me-goals and we-goals. Yes, I should read more books, have dessert a little less often, and try not to fall for Instagram ads selling clothes that claim to be the warmest-underlayer-ever when I’m freezing in bed in January. There’s a whole big world out there, and cold or not, I’m still committed to nudging it forward slightly. We’re fighting to change a world that stubbornly refuses to change, so it’s best to think in terms of babysteps. What can I do more — and do better — as an activist? Things like expanding my activist space, spending more time engaging with young feminists, and researching local organizations doing great work that we should support. The stuff that makes me feel like I’m doing whatever I can in the small spaces I occupy.

Sure, it’s never “enough” — but a critical part of our activism should be to rest and recharge. I seem to be the last at the self-care party, I suck at boundaries, and my mind wanders to all the things I gotta do every time I try to be mindful. So, this needs some work.

Oh and — joy. More room for that too, please. Joy is an act of resistance, defying the systems of oppression that have tried to hold us back and hold us down . Audre Lorde teaches us that joy provides the “energy for change” — the very fuel we need to keep moving and to ignite hope. Joy reminds us that we’re not alone in this shitstorm, and helps us build bonds with our people — the bonds we need for solidarity and collective action. And for sanity.

Let all this holiday business be a reminder that it’s about creating light and being the light. Sure, it’s easy to get caught up in the consumerist whirlwind of the season, but while we’re out there thinking of stuff to buy, let’s also think about stuff to be.

Like — BETTER.

--

--

Lina AbiRafeh
Lina AbiRafeh

Written by Lina AbiRafeh

Global women's rights activist, author, speaker, aid worker with 3 decades of global experience - and lots to say! More on my website: www.LinaAbiRafeh.com

No responses yet